Sunday, November 2, 2014

Our Words: The Windows and Mirrors of a Safe World

From Safe Spaces: Chapter 5 - Inside the Classroom Walls
Annemarie Vaccaro, Gerri August, and Megan S. Kennedy

If there is one thing we have reiterated over and over in our discussions and readings, it's the fact that "language is a tool" (95), and conversation is one of the most important pieces of each of our classrooms. Reading this chapter, I was once again reminded of several of our previous readings and discussions. One line in particular really stood out to me: "Apparently, educators would rather omit or veil important themes in Whitman's poetry than broach a topic they consider taboo" (87). Immediately, I thought of Michelle Kenney's "Teaching the N-Word" and her take on taboo topics. Much like the discussion of the N-word and racial inequality, the LGBTQ discussion is one that needs to happen in today's classrooms, perhaps now more than ever before. Maybe one conversation can lead into the next, and we can have talks about many of them together. As Yoruba Richen poignantly states in What the Gay Rights Movement Learned From the Civil Rights Movement, "As these movements continue on, and as freedom struggles around the world continue, let's remember that not only are they interconnected, but they must support and enhance each other for us to be truly victorious." Yes, yes, yes. One thousand and ten percent, yes.


I think about all of the times I've heard the word "gay" thrown around or used to make fun of someone, and then I think about my students' reactions when I stop whatever else is going on in class to address it. Some of my closest friends and greatest role models are gay, and I have never known anyone else's hearts to be bigger. And that's exactly what I tell my students. I tell them that if my best friend was sitting in this classroom, and I let someone use the word "gay" as a derogatory term without asking them to understand why they shouldn't use it that way, he would probably be extremely hurt. I tell them that even though he isn't sitting in this classroom, I would be letting him down if I didn't stop to have this conversation, and that maybe someone else is sitting in here, thinking of somebody that they love who would also be hurt by our senseless use of words. The first time I spoke up in such a way, I was furious, and I was also nervous. I was furious with my students for disappointing me, for hurting the people I loved with their words, but most of all, I was furious with myself for being nervous. I noticed something that day, though, and I have never once been nervous when talking to my students about LGBTQ issues (regardless of how they come up in our conversations) since then. I noticed that my students became much more deliberate and considerate when choosing their words, and I noticed that that deliberation and consideration extended far beyond my classroom, as I overheard certain students' conversations in the hallways after that.

It is not up to the LGBTQ community to create safe spaces for themselves; rather, it is up to all of us to create safe spaces for all students, LGBTQ included. Safe spaces include classrooms, hallways, bathrooms, buses, soccer fields and basketball courts. They don't start there, though. They start in our conversations, in the words we do and don't use, and the ways we explain why we do or don't use them in certain situations. They start by reading Tango Makes Three to elementary students, and by addressing the homosexual themes in Whitman's Leaves of Grass with secondary students. They start by acknowledging that some students have spent their entire lives "denying [themselves] or explaining [themselves]" (88), whether they are part of the LGBTQ community, or have loved ones that are. They start with us. We create the safe spaces, the mirrors and windows in which students see themselves in our classrooms and, essentially, our world. The world we describe or introduce or discuss in our conversation needs to have a space for all students, so that they understand that the real world has a safe space for them too.

8 comments:

  1. Tina,
    Well said, we need to offer mirrors, in which our students see themselves, especially when what they see looking back at them is not all that flattering. While not parents, we do offer students the unique opportunity of perspective, and the chance to learn about themselves, as it is offered to them in no other way. There is nothing wrong with challenging a student's viewpoint, and allowing them to evolve. Our safe spaces are often where the world changes the quickest, and responsible leadership is critical in that process.

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    1. Brian, I like that you point out that "our safe spaces are often where the world changes the quickest"...maybe it's because we allow and expect our students to see the world from different perspectives, and once they know that, they expect more of themselves in regards to how they view the world.

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  2. I think it is interesting that you admit "being nervous" when you spoke to a student about his derogatory use of the word "gay." And I'll admit, I am also nervous to have these types of conversations in the classroom. Why?? I think the reason is because I'm not exactly comfortable tackling LGBT issues in classroom conversation. While I haven't hesitated to talk about racism, sexism, and other social injustices, I have hesitated to speak about homosexual topics. After reading about your experience, I am definitely going to address any LGBT issue that comes up in my class, regardless of how nervous I feel about doing so. I think it will become easier to do so as you suggested. And I also think that the classroom is where students are made aware of diversity and should have a safe space to talk openly and honestly without the fear of someone calling them a name or making fun of them for being different...no matter what that difference is.

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    1. Melissa,

      Once you've had the conversation once, there's almost a sigh of relief from the students...like "ok, she won't let this uncomfortable name-calling slide...good." I think about the people in my life that are important, and imagine them sitting in my classroom. How would my gay best friend feel if he knew I let a student call someone else "gay" or "fag" and just let it slide because I didn't feel comfortable talking about it? What would that say about the type of person I am? Our students need to know the power their words have, not just to the people they may be directing them towards.

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  3. Tina, I love how you mention, "It is not up to the LGBTQ community to create safe spaces for themselves; rather, it is up to all of us to create safe spaces for all students, LGBTQ included." This builds from our previous reading of Armstrong and Wildman that it is not the racial minority's responsibility to advocate for equity. It also goes along so well with the Ted Talk you posted and Shor/Finn's ideas about a group/class responsibility. It's not about blaming individuals for wrong-doings, but rather recognizing the common struggle we share and working together to make things better for everyone.

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  4. Creating safe spaces for all reminds me of a point Dr. Bogad said. We put up lights all over campus and police call boxes, not for women to be safe but for all to be safe while walking. We need to create these safe spaces in our classrooms, in our schools that all children, teachers, staff, parents feel safe. If students, teachers, staff and parents do not feel safe how much learning can really happen?

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    1. I had completely forgotten about that example, Jenny. And you're right...it's all about learning. Whether that learning be about a different kind of family or a new literary term, everyone has to feel safe in order for it to be able to happen.

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